


Elsa Lets Go (of her Bowels)

by IyanSommerset



Category: Frozen (2013)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-03
Updated: 2014-01-03
Packaged: 2018-01-27 14:03:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1713248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IyanSommerset/pseuds/IyanSommerset
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elsa of Arendelle learns the true meaning of letting it go after she gorges on food, drinks and snacks at her first Disney mixer ever. A short vignette set to the tune of 'Let it Go', in an alternate Disney reality where most characters from the different movies meet up several times a year for mixers and and conventions. Warning, brown humor ahead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Elsa Lets Go (of her Bowels)

_The snow glows white on the mountain tonight, not a footprint to be seen_

Elsa cautiously stepped into the empty hallway, closing the wooden double doors behind her. Beyond them, the party was still in full gear. People were standing around in small groups, enjoying petty chitchat aided by a copious amount of liquor. Amidst the muffled sound of background music, she could faintly hear Anna and Kristoff on the other side asking where she was going.

_A kingdom of isolation, and it looks like I'm the queen_

She ignored them, quickening her pace now since nobody was around. Everyone was still in the main living room, drinking, dancing, eating and relaxing. Elsa looked down the hallway, at the closed doors that were flanked by paintings and flower vases. Her gaze went to a lone door at the far end of the corridor, dimly lit by a single incandescent wall sconce. She knew exactly where she needed to go.

_The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside_

"Oh god," Elsa suddenly doubled over in pain. ' _Was it the oysters?_ ' She thought back to all the unconventional "treats" that Eugene and Rapunzel had brought as their pot-luck contributions. ‘ _No...it might have been the chili con gator..._ ’ she shook her head. Trying to get her bearings, she silently cursed Tiana and her wonderful cooking.

_Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I tried_

Another growl emanated from her bloated gut, accompanied by a feeling...of pushing. It was as if a great maelstrom of shellfish, curry, and whatnot was pushing out from within. A flotilla of edible chunks on a cascading river of tequila, champagne and vodka. A sharp stabbing pain sent her to the ground, her palms and knees hit the soft, carpeted floor with a slight thud.

_Don't let them in, don't let them see_

Halfway to her destination, Elsa glanced back with a worried look on her face. She had to be quiet. She had to be discreet. This was her first time at one of these mixers and first impressions last forever. Anna had been quick to interact with the other princesses, and her spritely enthusiasm seemed to pull even awkward Kristoff in. Elsa on the other hand kept close to the buffet table, picking and picking while making polite small talk with the shyer partygoers like that Belle girl.

_Be the good girl you always have to be_

She managed to crawl towards the direction of the main bathroom. On her hands and knees, Elsa felt rivulets of sweat forming around her forehead, before coalescing and going down her eyebrows to her eyes, threatening to obscure what blurry vision she had left. Whatever monster combination of processed produce bubbled in her gut was affecting her visual perception. Darkness threatened to engulf her field of vision from the periphery.

_Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know_

It was to her surprise that she had managed to hold it in for so long. Her belly pangs began around an hour ago, while trying out some vodka-soaked shrimp one of the other parties had brought. The tub of shawarma that Al and Jas brought with them didn't help either. And the salsa. Whatever was in that salsa that Incan rich kid supplied was addictive. She closed her eyes and shook her head. All this thought of food at a time like this…something threatened to come back up her gullet before she forced it down with much effort. She finally reached the far end of the hallway and with great effort, hauled herself back onto her feet.

_Well now they know_

Standing weakly in front of the main guest bathroom, Elsa summoned her inner courage and grabbed the doorknob. She grimaced slightly as a slight creak emanated from the hinges as she tried to covertly open the door without making a sound. A few seconds of silence passed before she tiptoed into the room. As she carefully closed the door behind her, she could hear Anna calling her name. Fuck.

 

_Let it go_

Elsa’s eyes darted around the guest bathroom as she flipped on the light switch. It was a small place, no bigger than a tool shed. A tiny sink adorned with little colored soaps stood against the wall to her right. At the far end, but just actually a meter or two in front, was her salvation. A quaint little porcelain throne sat on an equally small, tiled dais. Looking around, there was no ventilation save for a tiny window above the toilet that she could barely squeeze through.

_Let it go_

Another kick from her belly reawakened her sense of urgency. Fighting the urge to meet the floor, Elsa closed her eyes shut and slammed her palms against both side walls. The swirling mass of beef, pork and shellfish was pushing out against the walls of her intestines. A mistakenly-swallowed shrimp tail found itself poking at her liver from within. She could feel the liquid in her belly _moving_ as if it were a being with a life of its own. _Let. Me. Out._ It screamed at her.

_Can't hold it back anymore_

Unlike the other times, the pain refused to subside. This was different. Once-again doubled over and in a haze, Elsa managed to make it to the toilet and raised the lid. To her dismay, there was barely any water in the shallow bowl. The pain was like frozen shards of ice emanating from her central gut, sending sharp slivers radiating out through her organs all the way to her extremities. She stared desperately at the toilet. It would have to do.

_Let it go_

Elsa let out a pained scream as she fought to right herself to a semi-squatting position. She fumbled with her skirt, raising it up above her waist. She grabbed the waistband of her panties and thrust them down so fast, she swore she'd have to resew new garters on them. She had already left her shoes somewhere in the haze of the hallway earlier. It wasn’t much of an issue. Immediate matters...needed to be settled...

_Let it go_

"Hey Elsa, wait up!" she heard a familiar male voice shout from the hallway. It was Kristoff, presumably with her sister. It dawned on Elsa that in her slightly-inebriated, pain-wracked stupor, she had actually left the bathroom door slightly open. Faint yellow light streamed in from the small crack of the doorway. They were going to burst in and see...her...doing... _no_ …

_Turn away and slam the door_

With all the strength she could muster, Elsa rushed to the door and slammed it shut right as her sister reached it. For a second, she glimpsed Anna and Kristoff's concerned faces before the edge of the door slid roughly against the doorjamb. The lock clicked. The throbbing in her gut grew more even more violent. “Oh god!” She yelped in pain.

_I don't care what they're going to say_

"Elsa, are you ok?" Anna's concerned voice came from behind the door. "Hey Els, if you’re in *that* kind of trouble, I think I've got some pills that could help," Kristoff added. Blocking them out, she grit her teeth and headed back towards the bowl, balancing herself with her right arm against the cold, tiled wall. The air was getting musty, heavy and hot. Even her light sleeves felt soggy with her own sweat. The alcohol in her blood wasn’t helping.

_Let the storm rage on_

As she reached it, Elsa noticed the toilet seat was cracked and broken. Jagged plastic edges and sensitive bare thighs never mixed. She knew it would cut into her delicate flesh if she sat on it. The thought of an open wound where it would be worried her. The beast in her colon growled again, sending shockwaves of pure pain through her entire body. Fuck it. She raised the seat and prepared to make contact with the bowl itself.

_The cold never bothered me anyway_

Elsa cautiously lowered herself onto the bare toilet bowl rim. Hot, sweaty flesh met cold, glazed ceramic. ‘ _It…wasn’t that bad_ ,’ she thought as another wave of agonizing tremors radiated from below her navel. She bore that one with a sigh that evolved into a low groan. The chill feel of cold porcelain supporting her creamy white thighs disconcerted her. But only for a bit.

 

_It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small_

She could hear more voices through the door now. Rapunzel, Jas, even timid Belle was asking Anna if she was ok. It mattered very little to Elsa now, as she was nearing the end of her two-hour long self-inflicted torment. She stared hard at the scenic painting that hung on the back of the door. A small, snowy mountaintop...

_And the fears that once controlled me can't get to me at all_

The feeling in her gut was way beyond the definition of pain now. The voices outside blurred together with the rumbling emanating from her stomach, compounded by the slight buzzing in her ears. ‘ _This was all their fault,_ ’ she shook her head incredulously. Elsa thought of all the delicious treats she had been gorging on the past two hours.

_It's time to see what I can do_

Pain. Elsa instinctively slammed her hands against the walls on either side of her. Her peripheral vision was quickly growing dark now. There was one task to do, and nobody - not her sister, her cousin, or her new acquaintances were going to get in the way of her final salvation.

_To test the limits and break through_

She eerily felt the water in the bowl rising. No..something was leaking. Elsa felt a piercing, boiling, hot feeling nuzzling at her bowels. A thousand battering rams pounding mercilessly at a single door of ice. Cracks were beginning to appear on the icy crystalline gate. It was time. Something hot dribbled down the back part of her left thigh. Oh god. She was leaking. It was happening.

_No right no wrong, no rules for me_

Boom. Boom. Boom. Her pulsing heartbeat was synchronizing with the throbbing pain from her colon. No, it was more. Her sister was noisily banging her fist on the outside of the bathroom door. "Elsa, are you hurt? Do you need a doctor?" Anna’s voice came through the thick wood. Two hours of repressed, pent-up frustration, anger, rage and pain erupted from Elsa.

_I'm free!_

"GO AWAY!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" Elsa screamed at the top of her lungs. She didn't need to push. No, all her effort was in holding the door shut. All her life, she was shutting doors in people’s faces. She was good with doors. This was no different. Elsa released the lock, and she was finally free.

 

_Let it go_

It started with a silent moment, from the second she screamed at the door, the crowd gathering right outside grew quiet. And then all hell broke loose. The growling in her stomach stopped, then burst in a violent explosion of pure rage. Like a low groan, building up into a massive bullroar, her colonic cacophony echoed throughout the tiny stall - and presumably through the door towards her now-silent, captive audience.

_Let it go_

Chunks of barely-digested beef, mixed with a little bit of everything everyone brought earlier exploded into the bowl. What once was gleaming white porcelain was quickly resembling a bowl of chocolate meat stew. Everything slammed so hard into the bowl that what little stagnant water was pooling in the bottom splashed back up all over Elsa's once-pristine cheeks.

_I am one with the wind and sky_

Elsa's eyes were wide open, staring into subspace. She wasn't home. Nobody was home. Mouth half-open in an expression that can only be described as incredulous shock, tears streamed down her cheeks as two hours of pure agony escaped beneath her. It felt as if her pelvis was being torn in two, as if she were giving birth to a pack of triplets all at the same time. Her palms were pressed so hard against the side walls, faint cracks started to appear in the tiles.

_Let it go_

People say your life flashes before your eyes when you die. Elsa's vacant expression did not belie the various images that scrolled in front of her eyes - shrimp cocktails, a huge pile of shredded beef, a steaming hot bowl of meat stew, various pastries and chocolates, a pile of broccoli on a plate of flat noodles, an endless sushi platter, even that whole haggis Merida forced her to eat on a dare. The images danced across Elsa's vision as fast as they pushed past each other to exit her colon.

_Let it go_

For a few moments, everything stopped. The world quit. Elsa blacked out. The darkness that had been nipping at the heels of her peripheral vision finally engulfed her. She came to on the floor, still leaking from her behind. She must have had fallen on the floor sometime in the past minute. Something roused her, brought her back. It was incessant pounding in her ears. ‘ _No, wait_ ’ Elsa realized what made her regain consciousness. Anna was now banging on the door, screaming "Oh my god, Elsa! We're coming in!"

_You'll never see me cry_

Elsa was sobbing, a small part from the pain of her massive release but more from the shame of what had just transpired. She had hit her head on the cold, white tile floor and there was a little blood streaming from somewhere above her left eye. She looked back in shock at the massive level of destruction she had unleashed. In her panicked fury, the entire bowl was covered in what could only be described as chocolate slurry. The walls had not escaped her rage either - reddish brown smears were all over the tiles she had been holding to steady herself - and some places that she swore she couldn't have possibly reached.

_Here I stand and here I'll stay_

Elsa pulled herself up with a hanging white towel near the sink - well, it was white before she steadied herself on her wobbly feet. The world was spinning, and she managed to make it to the toilet ignoring Anna's pleas for her to open the door. She pressed down on the flush lever, and nothing happened.

_Let the storm rage on_

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" Elsa screamed in terror, wide-eyed with the full realization of the scene that her sister would walk into. The once-clean bathroom was covered in brown slurry. She looked down at her legs and was shocked to see streaks of brown liquid and what looked like blood all over. Her dress was stained all around as well, even up to her bodice. Elsa clutched at the hair above her temples with her stained palms, groaning. “No, no, no, no, no…” This was not good.

 

_My power flurries through the air into the ground_

Finally sane, Elsa looked around with a panicked expression on her face. She could make out Kristoff and Eugene’s voices talking outside. The word "keys" was all she needed to hear. She started tearing at her soiled and stained clothes - there was no saving them now. Elsa squeezed out of her bodice, ripping one of the sleeves as she tore it off her chest. Her skirt went down around her legs – no way was she bringing that stained mess near her face. She threw what was left of her stained clothing in the corner. Completely naked, she darted to the sink, trying out the faucets. No water. Both of them.

_My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around_

The jingle of keys outside, combined with Anna's pleading cries for her sister to "please, be alright..." spurred Elsa to action. There was no water. Nothing to wipe with, except for rags and a towel that was already caked with what must have been clam chowder. Outside, she heard some coughing as what must have been a toxic miasma was slowly exiting through the cracks in the doorjamb. She heard someone – it sounded like cousin Punzy - mutter "Oh my god." The acrid smell within threatened to drag Elsa back into the semi-conscious haze she had been in a few moments earlier. It was getting harder to breathe. She had to act fast.

_And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast_

Escape. Elsa's gaze rested on the tiny window a few feet above the desecrated toilet. That was the only way out now. She carefully reached for the window, stepping on the ruined toilet bowl to do so. It felt rather slimy and slippery. It didn't bother her anymore. She boosted herself up on the bowl and squeezed through the tiny opening. It was so tight, some caked-over chips of chocolate were scraped off her platinum blonde hair, now a chaotic mass held together by thickened tequila beef drippings. Behind her, she heard a key going in the lock. A click. With all her strength, Elsa pushed her naked body through the tiny window and fell a few feet onto the grass as she heard the door open behind her.

_I'm never going back_

In the guest bathroom, she could pick Anna's voice out from the growing commotion. "Elsa! Oh. My. God. Elsa!!!" Elsa didn't stop to look, she scrambled to her feet and rushed for the side of the yard away from the road. From the tiny window, she could hear a mix of panicked shouting, crying and wailing. A few of the girls were throwing up. She heard a loud thump, unaware that Belle had just fainted onto the slurry-encrusted floor. Another thump, as Adam tried to catch his love, missed, slipped and ended up hitting his forehead on the toilet. Elsa ran for her life.

_The past is in the past!_

She reached the white picket fence and with the adrenaline-fueled agility of a doe being chased by a pack of wolves, grabbed the top at the top of a leap and pulled herself over in one swift motion. She heard voices behind her as the house's back door burst open, people rushing out in terrified cries. She heard someone, probably John, shout out, "The house! ...the smell...everyone out...it's not safe!" Phoebus was dragging an unconscious Milo out the door, bleeding profusely from the nose. Gaston burst through one of the windows in a shower of blood and glass, screaming "Save yourselves!"

 

_Let it go_

Completely oblivious to her nakedness, Elsa ran through the neighbor's yard without a plan. She just had to get away. This wasn't the first time she ran away from people. But this time, she had a pretty good reason to do so. It was a good thing the next-door neighbors weren't around, and just her luck, they had a pool. With all the abandon of a woman who had nothing to lose, Elsa leaped into the icy water.

_Let it go_

Even before she rose to the surface, the pool's water grew darker in the moonlight. A dark cloud billowed out from the young woman, like an octopus exploding in a cloud of black ink before escaping a would-be assailant. She held her breath and scrubbed, and scrubbed, and scrubbed like an artisan sanding a slab of rough marble to bring out its shine. She untangled the beef-matted braid that was her hair and swirled it in the rapidly-browning waters.

_And I'll rise like the break of dawn_

Elsa rose out of the pool slowly, a new woman reborn. The moonlight glinted down on her naked body, now without the brown streaks that covered it mere moments before. Her lush, blonde hair cascaded down the front of her chest, slightly covering her perky breasts. She breathed a sigh of relief as she left the defiled waters of the pool behind her.

_Let it go_

Elsa couldn't enjoy the cold midnight air for long. Sounds of someone running through grass, the sound of shoes scraping against the wooden fence, her sister's voice echoed. "Elsa! Please come back! Let me help you!" All of a sudden, to her right, the neighbor's porch light came on as the glass sliding door opened. Somebody was home.

_Let it go_

"Hoo hoo! Vat are you doing in my....OH DEAR!" Huge mister Oaken stood his full seven feet, eyes wide open and staring not at Elsa's glorious naked body - but the desecrated swimming pool she had just stepped out from. With a stunned expression on his face, Oaken managed to mutter "Beeg....blowout..." Shock, embarrassment, and shame quickly cycled through Elsa's face as she darted towards the bushes.

_That perfect girl is gone_

There was no going back now. In her panicked escape, Elsa found herself on the road. Thankfully, there were no cars to be seen, but the party house was just beyond Oaken's and she quickly stole a glance in the general direction. Most of the partygoers were on the grass, on their hands and knees. Al was cradling Jas as she shook and sobbed while curled up in a fetal position. A blonde - Aurora? - was bent over spilling shrimp and tomato sauce on the street. Clayton was walking around in a daze, unaware he was still dragging half of the front door behind him.

Behind her, Anna called. "Elsa, come back. Ariel let me borrow a spare shirt for you. It's ok, we can fix this thing together."

_Here I stand in the light of day_

Elsa stood naked in the mixed glow of moonlight and streetlamps. She felt she should be ashamed, especially as exposed as she was in front of her sister. But no, nudity wasn't an issue now. Not after what had just occurred. The gang was never going to let her live this down.

_Let the storm rage on_

Elsa looked at her sister, then back at the house. It was chaos. Eugene was on his phone, screaming "No you listen to me, this IS an emergency!" Philip and Kristoff were shouting at each other - it seemed that in a panicked rush to flee the scene, Philip had crashed his bike into Kristoff's car. Snow had all but lost it, lying on her back in the middle of the street laughing hysterically at a slice of apple pie she was holding. No, she couldn't go back and face everyone. Not after this. not ever. She felt like dying inside. She felt another twinge in her gut. No.

_The cold never bothered me anyway_

Screaming incoherently, Elsa ran down the road towards home. It mattered not how many miles she had to run, in the cold midnight air. She was going straight home and shutting the door. She ran, and ran, and ran.


End file.
